you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
