Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
