Sponge bath it is.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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