3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
