he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize