that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Drake has all the answers
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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