Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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