Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
