mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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