Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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