dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
