What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
