Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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