You really coming over, don't trick.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Randomize
