I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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