Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Just cropdusted the office
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
