Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
just tell him i said nine months
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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