I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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