No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
