How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
