he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
