Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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