I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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