32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
