Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
