OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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