If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
