I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
he fucked my hip out of place.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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