it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
