I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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