I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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