Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Houston, we have a blender
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
