it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I came so hard my ears popped.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
