i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize