I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
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