Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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