discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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