I must be too annoying 4 u.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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