It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
