its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
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