why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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