your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
