A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
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