Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
