I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Randomize
