So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
