I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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