Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I AM VODKA MAN
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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