He asked me if I "almost moaned"
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize