My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
