Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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