Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize