Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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