I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
