is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
