i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
