You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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