ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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