ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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