You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
